Dear Sarah,

Dear Sarah,

Ok, so it was a heated debate via Facebook status comments.  Well, it was a lukewarm debate.  I get that you felt strongly, but I guess I thought we’re all adults and we can disagree and still be facebook friends.  Yeah, so we went to school together almost 10 years ago, and we were never that close.  I give you that.  So being defriended over something like this isn’t that big of a deal.  Honestly, I’m not really gonna miss you.

I know that I’m a stubborn guy and I tend to take things pretty personally, but I also know that the best way to learn, grow, and change is to challenge your own ideas.  It may not always seem like I’m open to hearing you out, but I will always hear you out.  I might not always admit that I’m wrong right away, but I will always eventually admit it when I am.  Blame it on the introversion.  It often takes me a while to process things.  That’s what’s interesting about commenting back and forth via facebook.  It gives us all a second to sit and think.  So what does it mean, when you’re given a chance to sit and think, that you’d rather remove me from your friend list than question your own ideas or formulate a response?

Not all of my friends agree with me, and I’m grateful for that.  Some of the best relationships I’ve had have been ones that challenge me.  And I’m a better person for it.  I know that it might take a while for me to turn thought into action, but in the meantime, I have friends who will call me out when I’m talking the talk and not walking the walk.  And having them there to call me out often helps me reach my goal.  Some people in my life don’t appreciate my calling them out, but I will always have their best interests at heart.  After all, they are the ones setting the standard for themselves.

In this case I try to take a word of advice from the bible:  “you must first remove the plank from your own eye before you can take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.”  This is probably one of the hardest things for me to do.  It’s always easier to see what’s going on with someone else than to take an honest look at yourself.  But I try to keep in mind that whenever I point my finger, there are always three fingers pointing back at me.  A lot of times the failings we see in others are a manifestation of the failings we see in ourselves as we project them onto someone else.

So I guess I should thank you, Sarah, for reminding me to take a step back and look inward.  And I suppose that’s the final lesson I’ll learn from you.