F.O.B. vs E.O.P.

This year was the first Christmas in America for one of my cousins.  She’s a nurse (go figure) and moved from the PI to Minneapolis in November.  Tough break, kid.  I don’t think she’s taken her winter coat off since she got here.

We’ve been around each other for the usual family holiday get-togethers and our conversations usually go like this:

“Hi Manang Noemi!  How are you?”

“Good.”

“What have you been up to lately?”

[shrugs shoulders]

“It’s, um, pretty cold here… how are you adjusting?”

“yeah, it’s cold.”

It didn’t hit me until Christmas eve, when my parents told me that she is really intimidated by my sister and me because she feels insecure about her English.  She could speak to us in Tagalog and we’d understand, but more likely than not we’d respond in English.  Ya see, we’re E.O.P.  [English Only Pilipinos].  That would be the technical term since we’re not fluent.  We grew up here and our parents didn’t want us to have accents or a language barrier so they didn’t instill in us a strong sense of speaking Tagalog.  We’re around it enough to understand it conversationally, but I never really developed a facility for speaking it.  Most of the time, I can’t tell the difference between when my family is speaking English or Tagalog, but I always respond in English either way.

Apparently, Manang Noemi has been avoiding me.

Filipinos like to tease each other.  That can make it hard to learn anything new.  But it’s a sign of endearment.  We tease because we love.  So yesterday at a restaurant, this happened:

Server: And what can I get for you?

Manang Noemi: I’ll have the chicken sandwich.

Server: Fries?

Manang Noemi: Oo*

*And now for the Wily Filipino Tagalog lesson for the day: “Oo” means yes (it’s pronounced like “oh-oh”).

The whole table erupted in laughter and when she realized what she did she laughed, too.  She’s getting the hang of it.  Her English is much better than my Tagalog (As it turns out, people tell me I sound like a drunk white guy when I speak Tagalog so she’s in good company).  But sooner or later, she’s gonna be thrust into situations where she’ll be forced to bust out the English skills and I’m sure she’ll do great.  A couple of my other cousins had the whole Minestrone fiasco when they first moved here, not to mention needing to ask me the correct pronunciation of “Bowl” (Bow-el means something entirely different, especially when you’re a nurse talking to a patient).  So it’s the little things.

It’s easier, language-wise, to be a FOB in the States versus an EOP in the Philippines.  The last time I was there, I had told some people that I really wanted to get comfortable speaking Tagalog, and they said, “Why?  you won’t use it unless you’re speaking to another Filipino.  It’s better that you speak English.”  Yeah, they didn’t quite get what I was going for, but that’s culture for ya.

On the other hand, several of my cousins have married white folks.  My cousin Pop married Debbie a couple years ago.  When they showed up at Thanksgiving, my mom noticed that she would just stand off by herself.  I guess I just took it for granted, but when my cousins get together everybody is speaking either Tagalog or one of their hometown dialects.  My mom took it upon herself to give Debbie a little nudge, saying, “Just sit down with them.  They’ll switch to English.”  My mom explained that when you’ve been here for a while you get used to switching back and forth, especially in the presence of an “American,” it becomes second nature.

So I guess Manang Noemi just needs to find where that line is.  And maybe I’ll get one of those Rosetta Stone language tapes and really freak my family out in a few months.  Either way, I bet Manang Noemi will still be wearing her winter coat.